TW: discussion of self-harm and suicide. We intend this post to be purely educational, not to incite nor encourage anyone to self-harm. If you are feeling vulnerable at the moment, please do not read the following post and talk to a trusted adult, or call/text any of the helplines listed under the RESOURCES page.
Today, we’re going to talk about a serious topic that a lot of people struggle with: self-harm. A few things to note before we start…
Self-harm doesn’t necessarily involve making cuts on your arms or legs. It can take on many forms, which is something we will touch on.
Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI) is a form of self-harm that is common among adolescents and young adults. NSSI is harming oneself without the intent of attempting suicide.
People who self-harm aren’t attention seekers-- in fact, in many cases, victims of self-harm will attempt to hide their wounds.
First, what is considered to be self-harm? Many people associate self-harm with making cuts on the body, specifically one’s arms and/or legs. This is only one form of self-harm. Other ways people may self-harm can include burning their skin, intentionally having unsafe sex, picking or pulling at the skin or hair, hitting oneself, or putting themself in any situation that causes them to be unsafe physically, mentally, or emotionally.
So, why do people self-harm? Why would anyone want to put themselves in danger or hurt themselves? The truth- there is no one reason. Self-harm happens for a variety of reasons and can be caused by different mental illnesses including depression. This is generally the most common way it is represented in society, but self-harm can also result from issues like anxiety, where, for example, one may scratch or pick at their skin as an unhealthy coping mechanism. Some people self-harm to have a sense of control, or even to punish themselves for their feelings or experiences. Others may self-harm to stop feeling numb or disconnected from the world. As mentioned earlier, people have different reasons and some people may not even know their own reasoning behind it. But one thing we do know is that it is not a healthy way to cope with any problem. Once you start, it can be hard to stop self-harming, as it becomes something of a comfort to the victim, but it’s not impossible. Many seek help through therapy, which is a great resource for ending the habit but also working on oneself, whether it be self-image, self-esteem, or even self-love.
How can you help yourself?
Try to understand why you self-harm. What are your triggers (what gives you the urge to self-harm)? What emotions do you feel that make you turn to hurting yourself?
Find distractions- both in a vulnerable and okay state of mind. Distractions come in many different forms, such as watching TV, journaling, talking with a friend or family member, doing random chores around the house, etc. Find what works for you.
Use a safe method to mimic self-harm when you cannot overcome the urge- a great tool is snapping a rubber band on your wrist or rubbing ice over the spot where you feel compelled to harm yourself
Create a safety plan
Identify and write down names and phone numbers of people who you can call
List phone numbers and other resources that you can use
List activities you can do to calm and ground yourself
Make a safety box- include the items above as well as pictures, smells, and other things that will ground you
Remove any objects that you can use to self-harm out of your sight and keep your hands occupied
Journal- write down everything that is on your mind and bothering you
RIDE THE WAVE: notice your emotions as a wave and work toward increasing your tolerance to experience those emotions without acting on them
Use affirmations: remind yourself that you and your feelings are valid, that you deserve help, that this urge will pass.
Understand that relapses are okay. Recovery is not linear and scars don’t dictate where you are going, only where you have been
Seek help. Whether it be from a friend, family member, or from a professional, get yourself a support system so you don’t feel that you are going through this alone and so you can have the tools to move forward safely
How can you help someone who self harms?
The most important thing is to show them that you care and that their feelings are valid. Don’t shame, make them feel guilty, panic, or overreact as it can negatively affect them. Remember to be nonjudgemental and let them know that you are there for them. Have an honest and open conversation, and encourage them to seek professional help, but do not force them.
Resources
Crisis Text Line: 741741
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
For immediate life-threatening emergencies please call 9-1-1 (for US residents) or your local emergency number
Apps and sites:
Wysa- An AI friend where you can chat about your day and/or feelings, stress, anxieties, thoughts, etc, and they will provide you with resources and supports
Reflectly- A journal and mood tracking app
Think Smart Journal- journaling app
Headspace: a meditation app
distrACT- an app that gives you direct access to information and advice regarding self-harm and suicidal thoughts
Calm Harm- an app to help you “Ride the Wave” of your urges to self harm
I am Sober- sobriety counter app
Sources