Where to find Kerry Graham
Email: kerry@mskerrygraham.com
Instagram: @mskerrygraham
Twitter: @mskerrygraham
Facebook: @mskerrygraham
About Kerry Graham
KG: I live, teach, write, run, and kayak in Baltimore, MD. Though I've been devoted to story-sharing for virtually my entire life, I've only become vocal about my own true stories--issues with mental health, my decision to be childfree, my refusal to define myself by my relationship status--in the last few years.
Writing
HS: What type of writing do you do? Do you have any published works?
KG: I write in two genres: personal essay and narrative nonfiction (in the form of vignettes). Some of my personal essays can be found here: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/happily-childless-women_n_5d16788ce4b082e553691e1b
One of my vignettes can be found here: https://www.gravelmag.com/kerry-graham.html There are more of both; please contact me if you'd like links to others!
HS: Why did you start writing? When did you start writing?
KG: I started writing as a child because it was one of my favorite ways to use my imagination. Now, writing is my favorite venue for telling the truth.
HS: Who are your inspirations? What are your favorite books/genres?
KG: My inspirations are my high school students, who I call my lovelies. Every day, I ask them to push farther than they want to, to believe in themselves more than they think they can, to imagine what could be; I finally realized that I can't demand this of them without demanding it of myself first. Although I almost exclusively write (flash) non-fiction, I tend to prefer reading novels. I love becoming invested in people I don't know and never will, but, through the pages of a book, feel that I do. I always struggle to pick my favorite books! A few novels that come to mind, though, are "Half of a Yellow Sun" by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, "Less" by Andrew Sean Greer, and "The Book of Longings" by Sue Monk Kidd. My first favorite book was "Goodnight Moon" by Margaret Wise Brown, which I slept with as a toddler instead of a blanket or stuffed animal.
HS: What do you wish someone had told you about writing?
KG: It's more what I wish I could actually believe (I've heard it so many times): writing often feels so impossible, but that doesn't mean it is.
HS: How do you get into the "mood" of writing?
KG: Thankfully, at this point, writing is part of my routine whether I'm in the mood or not. I know that if I want to end up with a finished piece, I need to sit down enough times (almost always far more than I'd like) to get it not only written but written in a way that feels right.
HS: When starting a new book, what are your first steps?
KG: The book I'm in the process of writing now started with conviction: yes, these stories matter, and yes, I'm the right person to tell them. After that, I created content before thinking too much about structure.
KG: Shortly before the pandemic, I collaborated with two visual artists on a series of events featuring Baltimore-inspired art. I read vignettes about my lovelies, each of which was accompanied by either the artwork of painter Joann Dewwealth-O'Brien or photographer Rachel Shifreen. The visual art, inspired by the vignettes, revealed glimpses of each artist's individual impression of Baltimore. After our initial events in late 2019 and early 2020, we had several more scheduled that obviously needed to be canceled, though we did do one show online. We've been working on a new series that we hope to share sooner rather than later.
Our joint Facebook page can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/artistswithadayjob
Mental Health
HS: Describe your mental health experience.
KG: I've been living with anxiety (social and generalized) for as long as I can remember, though I didn't receive a diagnosis until about two and a half years ago, at age 35. The diagnosis was such a relief: finally, there was a name for the ways my mind kept manipulating me into believing what wasn't true.
HS: If you yourself suffer from a mental illness, how do you deal with it each day? What are some of the methods you use?
KG: The therapist I see currently (and have for the last two and a half years) is my favorite of any mental health worker I've seen. Unfortunately, it can be challenging to find the right fit; regular appointments with someone who I profoundly trust has made such a big difference in my mental health treatment. I take Lexapro daily--I wish I hadn't been so hesitant to start, especially given how much more like myself it makes me feel. Beyond these measures, I also exercise, journal, meditate, pray, cry, shout, laugh and learn. I've found that hearing about others' experiences with mental illness help me deal with my own.
HS: Why are you or why do you want to be an advocate for mental health?
KG: In college, I double majored in English and psychology; for several years, I considered entering the mental health field. I believe in supporting people when life hurts. I believe in empowering people. In fostering healthier communication and increasing self-compassion. In creating environments where mental health is a top priority, always.
HS: How are you trying to end the stigma of mental health?
KG: In addition to writing about my own experiences with mental illness, I also talk about it--specifically, I bring it up with my lovelies. I'm transparent about times when my anxiety feels like it's too much to take and I share coping strategies that have worked well for me.
HS: Why should mental health be talked about within the community?
KG: The state of our mental health influences more than our moods. It impacts the decisions we make, the conversations we have, and the way we see the world. Mental health touches so many corners of life; it's irresponsible to ignore the effect it has on the everyday.
I think "mental health" encompasses more than simply diagnoses of mental illness; it also includes the impact of having a countercultural lifestyle, which is why I brought up my stances about being childfree-by-choice as well as private about my relationship status. Please feel free to ask me follow-up questions about these decisions if you'd like!
Mental Health In Writing
HS: Do you generally write about topics related to mental health? If so, how does this form of expression affect your ability to deal with your or your loved one's mental health struggles?
KG: I do! Since filling out this form, I remembered one of my favorite pieces I've written about mental health: https://thoughtcatalog.com/kerry-graham/2019/03/remember-this-the-next-time-your-anxiety-feels-like-it-is-at-its-worst/ Writing about mental health makes me feel so much more comfortable in my own skin. It makes me feel ready to support people who might not yet feel so comfortable. It makes me proud to be me.
HS: If you personally struggle with your mental health, do you find that writing (about mental health or just in general) helps you cope with it?
KG: Presumably my previous responses have made this clear, but just in case they haven't: YES!
HS: Does your or your loved one's mental health get in the way of your writing? If so, how?
KG: Other non-fiction writers feel comfortable sharing personal details about the mental health of people in their lives, but I will never do this. No matter how directly someone else's mental health struggles may impact me, their status is not my story to tell.